Just mADE A PArabola og urine
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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