i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
