She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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