Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
