pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im holly from the hills drunk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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