Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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