im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
