so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
