I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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