Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
