she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
