If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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