So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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