You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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