yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm really busy with my period
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