I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
