And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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