Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
