i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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