I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
