Screwed.edu
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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