I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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