Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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