At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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