Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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