Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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