it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
