as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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