im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what day is it and did you see me today?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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