Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
