I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
