ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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