he thought i was a dude.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
