You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
