I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Houston, we have a blender
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
