u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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