i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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