Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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