Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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