What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
