I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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