There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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