But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
