All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
