dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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