Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
