I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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