Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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