finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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