did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
