Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
