It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
