the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
