never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize