Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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