hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
