we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
