she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
