My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
