I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
