my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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