PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
