you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm at about main and main street
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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